Today was my last day of work at TWU—hands down the most transformational work environment that I may ever have. I'm ready, but I'm really nervous about the step ahead... isn't it always that way when following a lifelong desire?
I suppose, starting today, I'm a freelance writer. It may not sound that ambitious—it's certainly not a PhD, or social justice work that will effect immediate change, I'm not even setting out to write an epic novel (as many people assume when you say you write) so i'm not sure I could classify this as an art... but ever since the first time I picked up a Seventeen magazine from my elementary school library shelf I have wanted to write for one.
Thankfully my reading tastes have matured.
But add to the work-transition the following:
a trans-continental move + a new spouse + a name change (AKA my current identity crisis) + tomorrow the insurance on my little snowball (car) runs out—a reminder that I meant to sell it by now.
Being Amanda Regier really is like being a whole new person. As a result, I find myself in a state of mourning. sort of. it's not a bad thing, being this Amanda Regier person... it's just new. and welcoming in the new means kicking the old out the back door. and naturally there are moments of loss. The trade off, however, is worth it.
4 comments:
The trade-off is definitely worth it.
Mom
i remember selling my car i had worked so hard to make payments on to put a downpayment on our house (a piddly $6000) and just bawling for hours. so i remember how the identity crisis feels. all you were is suddenly different than what you currently are. but just remember that although you do change, you are evolving and evolving is always good. (insert your mom's comment)
One little thing I've learned (just in the last year or so) is that the only thing you can do to keep going is to try to make yourself better everyday. I TOTALLY get where you are coming from girl. There is more to say, but perhaps it would be better in an email or I'll take up the whole comment section. :)
trust me, after a year, being the new amanda regier will seem so normal! i felt the same way for a while, but becoming karen walker is the best thing that has happened to me, so i see that new name and identity as a reflection of the wonderful grace given to me in blaine!
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