Em, yep, you read right, I'm keeping up with two book clubs at the moment - one, a random assortment of expat women who have come to Oxford for their own or their husbands' studies/work; the other, a more intentionally selected group of London Business School book nerds.
I've come to embrace my participation in such a supremely nerdy to-do because frankly, as a newcomer in a city, I've found there is no better way to connect with likeminded women - and I am a pro at being a newcomer! To put things in context, in three years of marriage we have lived in three cities and I have moved house a total of six (SIX!) times.
My bookclubbing odyssey began at my Aberdeen Starbucks. An American customer learned that I was from Vancouver, where she once lived, and that we had mutual acquaintances there. We were reading the same book so she invited me to join her and some other ladies to talk about it. Their ages spanned four decades, but they were all fascinating women with insight and stories to tell. Bookclub was the highlight of my month. I liked those ladies so much, I joined them on a weekend retreat at a Scottish abbey. (photographic evidence below!)
[image courtesy of Becky Holloway]In Oxford it came about much the same way - a church acquaintance tipped me off about a group of expat women who read and I turned up, book in hand, to meet a room full of really wonderful strangers! In London, bookclub is a good way to ensure I get into town at least once a month to catch up with those lovely ladies.
Since I've started telling friends back home about my bookclubbing I've been peppered with questions about how to do it. While I don't think there's a formula, here are some suggestions
Where to meet:
In Oxford we meet in homes around town. Those of us with enough space take turns hosting and usually that person puts on a little spread of goodies and maybe some wine to loosen tongues.
In London we meet in a pub - one that we know will have a table large enough for us all and that will be quiet enough for the first hour at least. We each pitch in a fiver, which supplies about two bottles of wine and a few bags of crisps.
What to read:
As a rule, all three of my bookclubs have been fiction only.
In Oxford we read only British authors, ideally those who were Oxford-based at some point (Lewis, Evelyn Waugh, Iris Murdoch etc)
In London our very international group is reading books from each of the countries represented - Canada, N.Ireland, Sweden, Australia and England!
Best to pick something meaty, but not too long. Up to 300 pages is manageable for even the working moms. Choose something too light and you'll be short of topics to discuss (While we all loved Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day it didn't sustain conversation too long!)
How to discuss:
We take a pretty organic approach in Oxford. Whomever picked the book will give opening impressions and explain why she picked the book, then we open up the floor from there.
Things in London are a bit more regimented. She who picks the book leads the discussion and has questions prepared, and everyone else has one discussion question ready just in case - it makes for really in depth conversation, but boy is it hard to not get sidetracked!!!
Who to join
In Oxford we agree to a date at the end of each meeting and stick to it. Everyone seems to finish to book in time, whether we like it or not.
In London the dates slide to accommodate work or social calendars and because we all know one another, we seem to be less diligent in finishing the book on time!
While the idea of discussing great books with friends is incredibly appealing, experience shows that you're more accountable to a group of strangers/new friends than a group of your besties. Too often you may opt for a good ol' catch up over a serious literary discussion.
Next time: a list of my favourite Oxford-themed literature :)
